Thursday, September 23, 2010


I am miserable, Its crappy weather, I'm tired its gray outside, my period comes in a week oh did I mention I feel like crap ? I got dressed this morning and I look pregnant :( The only reason I'm not crying as I type is because my 4 year old is beside me. I have a runny nose and a cough and I think I'm getting sick, when I walked my son to school i couldn't wear a jacket cause all mine are in storage and the other 3 adult in my home are all smaller than me. I want to sleep, and i want to go to bed before 12. I am a mess today and I really don't know if i will recover. I am a puddle on the floor. Right now I can't, and i don't feel like it will turn around anytime soon.

A miserable end of a Miserable day

A terrible end to my day, i started to run and immediately my toes started to burn, OMG flaming death. I made it through 4 of the 6 runs, running faster than normal but the pain was too intense so 20 minutes in, I stopped. I went into the change room feeling like pure crap. I should have taken 2 min then marched my sorry butt back in there but after my day I couldn't. For some reason, I couldn't bring myself to do it. So defeated I got into my bathing suit and sat in the hot tub. I have never felt so S***ty in my whole life. I am starting to feel that I am getting burned out, maybe I just have too much stress, maybe its because I'm getting my period, I just don't know. I am struggling with my return to the gym, ALOT ! I think its time to call in for back up and have someone come with me.  I am so scared that this could be the beginning of my end, I am not ready for this journey to end. When do I return? I am debating tomorrow because I fear that if i don't return soon that I won't return. I am sad, frustrated and disappointed with myself. All I can think is I failed, will this be a bump in the road or the catalyst that started the end.
A better question.. WHY DO MY SHOES BURN MY FEET SO DAMN BAD ?? I really wish I knew :(
My eating habits have gone down the crapper too, I am just hungry a lot, and I feel like crap when I eat crap but my body seems to think I neeedddd that !!!I guess I just feel like my life is really unbalanced, I feel that so much has spiraled out of control in the last 3 days. I am still on the couch to 5K program I am still on the couch and I should be ending week three .. FAIL !! ick !!!!!


  1. It's a bad day. We all have those. Forgive yourself - you're just human.

    "If you're going through hell - keep on going. It maybe hard, but it sure beats staying in hell!"

  2. Can you go back to Athlete's World & ask them? They might have some answers for you, they'll want you to be a happy customer! Is it friction, could you wear two pairs of thin socks instead of one pair of thicker socks? That way the socks rub against each other, not your skin.