Well, ive decided that i am starting my weight loss journey, I know I have struggles coming but I have to. Last week I stepped on a scale I weighed 290 pounds !! When i graduated i wore a size 10/12 prom dress.. now i struggle to find a size 22 that fits and i am only 26 years old. I dont think im ugly and never have.. but when i turn sideways it makes me sad :( Today was my very first day and I would like to record my journey for myself and others.
I have decided to start with Couch to 5K, its supposed to take me from my comfy couch to running 5K in 9 weeks. There are 9 weeks of podcast that you download onto your MP3 player and then follow the instructions. I have only looked at the overview of week one ... walk for 5 min, run for 60 seconds, walk for 90 seconds, run for 60 seconds, walk for 90 and so on and so forth this is 3 days a week with one day off in between...... and when i looked i thought .. hey yeah i can do that !!! well that was 2 days ago, since i have roped a good friend of mine into this and she and I will both run in seperate cities and i call and check on her and she on me. Today despite getting over being sick and the dreary weather I started today .....
My very first run.. I am a self proclaimed non runner, My mantra previous to this week is I DO NOT RUN !
not any more.. i have decided that I CAN !! so my husband and our 3 kids go to a park that has a running track, I had been debating putting this off because im getting over being pretty sick and its dreary and lightly raining on and off. But my husband said no were stopping (thanks dear!) So i send my husband to the park with my kids and tell him not to watch me, he agrees and i know hes lying! so i start.
The first 5 min is walking briskly ..yep I can do this ... then i have to run, the first 10 seconds are good then pain in my right side under my breast but i can do this I'm not stopping ! and i did... I am very proud of this :)The pain stopped after that cycle. My speed running is defiantly closer to a fast walk but its a start and i'm okay with that I must say though that while running my breasts bounce horrendously and I feel that i look like a cross between a T-Rex and like i belong in the special Olympics ( except that those people are in much better shape than i am ) As my podcast tells me my arms aren't too high and my fingers are loose so its like i have claws ... I am a flab-a-sarus Rex. This is the first time I have ever chosen to exercise, i do think its ironic that I remember hating running on this very same track as a late elementary school child being told to run by militant PE teacher. Halfway through another person joins me on the track, she's slim and looks like she knows what shes doing, and I wonder does she suspect that i am completely clueless and have never done this before. She starts walking the opposite direction.. am i going the wrong way? do i look like a complete idiot ? ack.. is my roll sticking out my tank top? ick! Well the very last 60second run inter-volt i couldn't hold my speed, i slowed down but it could have been worse ? Right ? After I realise that this is the first time in 6 years where I have spent 33 minutes not thinking about my children, our bills, just me :) and thats a pretty good feeling.
I call my husband and kids over from the park and in a sarcastic voice my husband says "How was that for ya?" I feel crushed, I am so proud of myself and you cut me down to that !! I know he means well but that cut me pretty deep. I am fighting tears when he realizes that hes hurt me and he apologizes. I think i may have been over sensitive but either way i am hurt. I am quite sure that he will be more careful about what he says on Friday day 2 of week one. i don't think i will blog on off days. That being said I will be walking my son to school Monday to Friday both ways which is about 45 minutes of walk everyday.
So im setting goals with the ultimate goal of being somone my kids could be proud of :)
Daily.... drink water and take care of me
Weekly .. keep running and cut down on pop*
* this being said i will have had 2 cans by bedtime usually I would have drank 4-6 cans of Dr Pepper