Yes I still can ...

I've been neglecting my running between lack of motivation, sick kids and being completely overwhelmed with our move and stress. However after much poking and prodding of my wonderful husband he made me go to the gym. It took 4 trips from the car to house to make sure i had everything in my bag. I get changed and go into the weight room and the treadmill that I usually use is the only one empty, the fit man to my left tells me it keeps reading error. After 2 1/2 min and some help from the nice man beside me helped me turn it off and back on. I had a lot of pain in my calf from not running regularly and it was a bit worse than it normally is. I finished my run by the skin of my rear. and get changed, i take my water and my journal, and go to the hot tub,feeling quite accomplished i might add. I always write my thoughts down directly after i run then translate it here. Usually only keeping my most inner secrets and feelings to myself. Today I have decided to include all of my thoughts today as they were quite a lot to handle. Here it is ....


No one tells you that it is really you who has defeated yourself- and that you will be your biggest challenge to overcome, that regardless of stress, finances, kids, jobs and commitments inevitably it will be you that has to kick your own ass.No one can convince you to run past the pain in your calves, NO that has to be you. If we believed in ourselves what would we teach our children, and I mean really truly and remarkably believed in ourselves. what would I have done differently growing up ? would I have tried in gym class? would I have had an example to follow? I plan to find out from my girls when they are grown. whether I am fat or skinny my girls will have great role model who believed she could.